Year One: Working Mom Edition

Well first I want to talk about Soy Bean’s first birthday.  Success!  For his party we kept it simple.  I order a few jungle themed decorations, matching shirts, and we had pizzas delivered and made salads.  We kept the party small with just family and my husband made this amazing cake.  I think he should consider a career change!

cake

I can hardly believe this school year is almost over.  When I think about my life in the fall it’s hard to grasp how quickly things change in such a short period of time.  When I first went back to work I felt completely overwhelmed.  Even with all the help I have, every day I faced seemed impossible.

Over time things became easier for me.  I established routines and figured out what worked best for me.  I think the biggest change was creating a consistent bedtime routine for the baby.  I have to admit, it’s nice to know my husband and I will have some alone time every night.  I was saying to him last evening as we sat on the couch, that months ago it felt like we would never be able to relax at night without worrying about the baby.  Now he goes to bed so easily (most of the time!) and sleeps at least a solid 10 hours.

I also cannot be more thankful for the fact that Soy Bean goes to my parents’ house everyday.  When I drop him off  I know that he is loved all day.  I know they enjoy him as well, but I’m sure my mom is looking forward to some baby-free time this summer!

My other savior this year has been my friends at work.  I have to admit, while I’m looking forward to summer, I’m a little bummed I won’t see these wonderful ladies everyday.  After leaving college, I had to adjust to not being around my friends all the time.  When you’re in college you get to eat dinner with your friends every night. Now, I can say I eat lunch every day with friends.  How lucky am I?

I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to get together with the kids this summer, along with some ladies sangria evenings, but it’s not the same.  I guess that gives me something to look forward to in the fall.

For now, I’m excited to have the entire summer with my baby.  I want to inducement to the beach and splash pads and hopefully fit some long walks in there as well.  I’ll keep you posted.

Year One

My husband reminded me today that our son will be a year old in one week.  I have to say this has been the fastest year of my life.  I literally feel like we brought him home from the hospital yesterday, yet I cannot imagine life before him.

19059375_10101321721052705_6082455894939110896_n

I’m a little sad I won’t have a “baby” baby anymore, but he’ll always be my baby right?  I have to remind myself that I love the stage he’s in now.  As adorable as a newborn is, having a tiny baby was terrifying for me.  Plus my hormones were all over the place, I was recovering from delivery, and I didn’t really “know” him yet.  Now I get smiles and snuggles and it’s the best thing in the world.  I know what he likes and doesn’t like, and I also can anticipate I’ll get a decent night’s sleep every evening.

20292678_10101381794250535_452668918636846162_n

Since I have so many friends that are either pregnant or have newborns I thought I’d make a post about some new mom do’s and don’ts…you know now that I’m such a “seasoned” mother.

Don’t feel bad about changing your mind.

I had so many rules in place before Soy Bean was born.  He was never going to have a pacifier or a bottle, he wasn’t going to start solids until six months, and so on.  Well I went against so many of these “rules” and it all worked out for the best.  Plus, I can’t imagine life without a pacifier, especially in those early months.

Do ask for help.

Other moms are your best resource here.  They’ve been there.  Whether it’s your mom or other mom friends they are going to know what you need help with.  Husbands might need a little more guidance here…just tell them what to do…

Don’t lie to your doctor (or yourself).

This is one of my biggest regrets.  Honestly, we don’t do enough for new moms when it comes to healthcare.  When you’re pregnant everyone is looking out for you and the baby.  Once the baby is born, all the attention is off of you.  After Soy Bean and I left the hospital I had a visit with my doctor two days later to check my incision and then saw him six weeks later.  At my six week appointment I was given a survey to screen for postpartum depression.  I scored rather high on it, but when I was asked about it I dismissed the results.  I said I was feeling better and I attributed my high score to being tired and having a new baby at home.  Months later I found myself sitting at my desk at work considering driving myself to the ER because I have dealing with such crushing anxiety and depression.  Instead I called my doctor and they saw me as soon as I could get in.  Since then I’ve been receiving treatment for postpartum anxiety and OCD and honestly, when I talk to other mothers about this I realize I am in good company.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of, don’t lie to yourself and get help.

Do have a date night.

Marriage certainly changes after you have a baby.  While my relationship with my husband has always involved a child, life with a baby is quite different.  It’s important to make time for you as a couple.  I know there’s a lot of guilt about going out without your baby but it’s important to have time with your spouse.  My husband and I are lucky to have parents who babysit for us.  We’ve had a few date nights and even a night away!  Anytime you can make for the two of you is sacred when you have a little one.  Even if it’s just dinner on the deck after the baby is asleep.  Having an adult conversation while eating with both hands free is pretty refreshing!

Don’t be afraid to take the baby outside.

My PPA probably did not help with this, but I used to be terrified to drive with the baby in the car and take him into a store.  Now it’s one of my favorite things to do.  Soy Bean and I love Target!  If you stay home all day you’ll develop some major cabin fever.  I encourage moms to get out there, plus once you get used to taking the baby out it does get easier.

Do go shopping for yourself.

Most likely, unless you’re very lucky, your pre baby clothes are not going to fit for awhile and who wants to wear maternity clothes after you’ve had a baby?  (Well except for the jeans, God I love my maternity jeans) Go shopping, get some comfortable outfits that make you feel good.  Chances are it’s going to take awhile for you to feel like yourself again (I’m still working on it for sure), but having a new outfit can really lift your spirits.  Get your nails done while you’re at it, because that beautiful pregnancy hair is going to start falling out and you’ll need the distraction.

19555007_10101348826103965_7294497442216345462_n

Well I hope I didn’t scare anyone away from having kids.  It’s been the most amazing experience so far.  My husband and I marvel at Soy Bean and can’t believe we actually made him.  It’s amazing to watch him grow and see his personality shine.  Year one has been an experience for sure!

Soy Bean Updates: January

I cannot believe how big my little boy is getting!

He’s everything I’ve hoped for in a baby.  He’s sweet, he’s chill, he likes every food I’ve fed him.  He’s basically the perfect baby.  My parents even say he’s much more enjoyable than when I was a baby…

Our boy is now 7 months old.  He’s rolling back to stomach and stomach to back and doesn’t seem too motivated to crawl yet.  He’s pretty round so I guess it must be easier to roll…

I’m in the process of switching out his 6 month clothes for 9 month clothes (mom cry).  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby boy with so many outfit options, I’m a bit jealous.

I have to say I’m really enjoying this stage with the baby.  I’m not as afraid of breaking him anymore and I’m much more confident in my parenting abilities.  I also know him so much better.  I know what he likes and doesn’t like.  I know what comforts him.  I know what to expect roughly every day. I enjoy playing with him and listening to him laugh.  It’s the best.

Nights have been a little bit of an adventure…The hubby and I made a goal of creating new and positive routines to improve our lives for 2018.  I have to say, we’ve been doing a pretty good job so far and it’s been easy to implement.  We have a routine of feeding SB dinner, giving him a bath, lathering him up with lotion, then reading a book with a bottle, then finally and hopefully bed.  Daddy does the final put down, because honestly, the baby goes to bed better with him.  I sneak down stairs and clean up from that bath and then ideally Mom and Dad get a little alone time.

Some nights this works perfectly, and others well not so much.  Our son has quite a set of lungs and he does not quit.  He’s been getting better about going down, but now he’s been waking up soaking wet.  I’ve tried over night diapers and diaper pads, but nothing really seems to work.  Poor kid.  I think my next step is to buy the next size up diaper and see how that works.

Overall, everything has been good.  Soy Bean is quite the eater these days and we are no longer worried about his slow weight gain.  He’s loved every food he’s tried, even green beans.  I hope he never becomes a picky eater!

We’re looking forward to more babbling, crawling, and trying peanut butter soon!

IMG_3711
Sophie and a 3 month old Soy Bean.

How’s Mom doing?

I am doing ok.  I have days I really really miss my baby.  I never thought I would like to be a stay at home mom, but there are some days I really wish that I could be home with him.  I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but I do miss my boy.

We joined a gym (along with 80% of the rest of America) this month, so that’s been a new addition to our routines.  My husband goes in the mornings and makes it back in time to have coffee with me before work.  I’ve been trying to go right after work before I pick up the baby.  It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything athletic, it’s certainly an adjustment.

I have to say I’m pretty disappointed in my weight loss progress, not that I’ve been trying too hard, but I thought it would be easier.  I miss feeling like I used to and I miss my old clothes.  I literally have three pairs of pants I wear to work.  I bought some tights to wear with a stretchy skirt I bought, but haven’t been brave enough to wear it.  I’m hoping with a new exercise routine and warmer weather around the corner I’ll feel better soon.